Mixed Emotions.

 

This is all about what happened yesterday and also last night. All the feelings, emotions, pain and everything. *sighs* I don’t know what to write actually. I don’t know what to feel and if I still feel anything. I feel so numb. I wanna cry but there’s no tears flowing. But, before we ended the last call, that was the time when I burst all the tears out.

It was a cloudy day – Marinella’s birthday. I planned to go to Tomas del Rosario College where Marinella (a friend of mine) and Dj are studying. I planned to go there because I wanted to give the gift to Marinella personally. I went there at past 2 in the afternoon.

I was a bit annoyed because when Dj and I were texting, he was asking me, “Pupunta ka nga?” repeatedly. I was annoyed because it feels like he didn’t want me to come. When I arrived at TRC, I saw his classmates and asked where Dj was. “Classmate mo si Dennis, ‘di ba?” I asked Nadine. “Nasaan siya?” “Samahan na po namin kayo.” She suggested. I followed them and saw Dj. “Text mo na lang si Marinella.” He said with a dun-ka-na-dun-ka-na tone. I was like ‘Ah, okay.’

We saw Micko and his classmate and Dj asked them to go with me at the canteen because Marinella was there. We went to the canteen. After few minutes, he appeared there. Maybe his picture taking was done. He sat and after few more minutes, I told him that I was going home. He was walking faster and faster without looking at me. Hello?! I’m wearing a high-heels sandals and he was walking fast like I’m not there. -_- Ugh.

When I was in the jeep, he text me, “Ingat ka ha. I love you. :*” Then I replied, “Ge. I love you.” Then he asked me what’s wrong so I explained everything but he misunderstood it. -_- What a.. Haaaay. Then he said that maybe we really should go on with the plan of having some space or time for each other. Aish. I was so so annoyed and irritated. Just because of that?! He would just give up everything?! Just because I became angry?! Just because of that?! OMG. >.<

Yesterday, we text each other and I was making fun of what’s happening. Dinadaan ko sa joke lahat. So that I couldn’t feel any pain. But before we ended the last call, that was when I cried. He said, “Mahal na mahal kita.” and I replied, “Mahal na mahal din kita.” Then I slept with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart.